Me, Myself, and the Voices in My Head

A place to ramble and maybe make some sense about a thing or two.

Archive for the tag “television”

No, I didn’t post yesterday. What’s it to ya’?

This is driving me crazy!!  Here it is summertime and I don’t have squat to post because my life seems to be in a perpetual holding pattern because of my ERO/EEOC case and the fact that nothing interesting has happened recently.  I’m also not in the mood to continue my biography at the moment because we’re getting to the parts that were really difficult to live through back then.  I’m not sure I want to bring them up to the surface again now.

I am finding it very interesting looking at the map that shows from where people who read my blog are.  The other day Australia took the lead.  So far today the Irish have a substantial lead over the Americans.  And what people are reading is even funnier.  My reviews of Combat Cash and Mythbusters seem to be the favorites.  Someone clicks on them almost every day.

So, yeah, I’m behind in my posting.  But when it’s hot and sticky outside and it makes the house all hot and sticky, the last thing I want to do is sit in front of the computer in the hottest room of my house and type some drivel that people may or may not read.  I’ve also got an appointment with my therapist today, so who knows what goofy crap will come up that will make for decent topics?

“Dallas” is still dull as dishwater….

Oh, the 1980s.  When not everyone could have cable television and even if you did, you didn’t have 800+ channels of crap from which to choose your evening’s entertainment.  Back then, people actually made plans around their favorite television shows.  Well, unless they were wealthy enough to own a VHS or BETA video recording machine to record a show for them, commercials and all.  No DVRs.  No commercial skips.  Watch it when it airs or wait until rerun season and hope the episode you missed is there.

I had to explain all of that to Youngest Son tonight as Husband sat on the couch (and for over an hour did NOT fall asleep!) and watched the new series of Dallas on TNT.  He was a big fan of the show back in the 1980s and wanted to see how stupid….I mean….good the modernized show would be.  Of course, when you get the old actors on there playing their old roles, you can’t help but remember what the show used to be and wonder if they can actually get it to be that good (or bad) again.

Now, I didn’t watch Dallas when it was on in the 1980s.  The only episodes I ever watched were when J.R. was shot (because, who didn’t watch that one?) and the one when Southfork burned.  That episode I was somewhat sort-of forced to watch because I was at a sleepover at a friend’s house and all of the other girls loved Dallas but I had no idea who anyone was other than J.R. and Bobby.  Oh, and I did see the episode when Bobby comes back in the shower — but that was a rerun many, many years after it originally aired.

So, I’m watching the show with Husband and it’s as goofy as ever.  Youngest Son asked, “Is this a male soap opera?”

Yes, Son.  Yes it is.

Nighttime soap operas like Dallas, Dynasty, and Falcon Crest were heavily watched by women but they were designed to get the men-folk into the sittin’ room to watch as well.  They weren’t as silly as the daytime soaps, but you still knew that every scene had to have someone looking off into the distance as if they’re thinking, “Did that cat pee in the litterbox?” (it’s an acting trick) while the camera either gets closer or pulls back before the scene changes.  Or before a commercial came on.  Or before another ad for the same show you were watching came on to preview the next week’s episode.  As if you’d miss it….

So, yeah, I’m not particularly thrilled with the new version of the old show.  I liked how they tried to keep the intro credits the same with the music and scenes of Dallas (Texas).  But, a neat intro does not a great show make.  I might give it a few more episodes before I totally write it off as a bad job.  Seeing Larry Hagman and Patrick Duffy talking about what Miss Ellie did or didn’t want with her will is still interesting.  Goofy, but interesting.

The Woman in Black — My Review

AWESOME!!!!

That’s really all that needs to be said.  I never finished the book.  I did see the play when I was in London.  A friend of mine sent me a copy of the radio show.  Now I’ve finally gotten around to seeing the movie and I loved it.

Daniel Radcliffe was very good.  He’s always had that haunted look in his eyes, even in his first production.  He played the lead as young David Copperfield in BBC One’s television movie.  I’ve seen him in that, My Boy Jack, The December Boys, and of course the Harry Potter series.  He’s also been on Broadway and in the West End.  I was worried they’d try to take this ghost/horror story and try to “jazz” it up by getting the young Radcliffe so a younger audience would attend.  And when I saw that it was rated PG-13, I really feared the producers would try to play to a much younger audience (okay, specifically, teenage girls with a crush on “The Chosen One”).

They didn’t.  The movie does not disappoint.  Even Husband jumped a few times during it.

If I have to rate the productions I’ve seen/experienced, I still have to give the play top honors.  In the play, there are only two men onstage and in the program’s notes.  They never say that there’s a female who also appears and you never know if/when she’ll show up.  The skin-crawling creepiness of the play was excellent.  I would have to place the movie and the radio play as a tie because with the radio play you still use your imagination and can be genuinely scared.  With the movie, you get the great visuals and an expanded cast that helps make it more dramatic.

So, there it is.  Didn’t see anything worth watching on television so I figured I’d see the movie on Blu-Ray.  Now I’m watching Waiting for Guffman.  Yeah….I have weird tastes.

I wanna hollar the loud, funny words!!!

Good grief.  Another Wednesday evening spent watching American Diggers on Spike TV.  Why do I torture myself so?

Tonight they went to St. Augustine, Florida and down in the bayou area of Louisiana.  There were some neat relics found and I do have to give them kudos for finding a $20 double eagle, St. Gaudens’ design gold coin.  They’re rare and worth a LOT of money these days.

I could probably enjoy the show if it weren’t for one thing — the owner/host/announcer/blowhard Ric Savage.  He gives history and information about the places they go and the things they find as if he’s rehearsed whatever the production team’s researcher has pulled off the Internet.  He yells at the camera during the entire show and heaven help you if your television is accidentally turned-up a bit loud and he finds something he thinks is wonderful ’cause you’re going to hear him scream about it.  And not just any scream — the well-rehearsed scream that comes from professional wrestlers.

He fully admits that he used to be a professional wrestler (I still don’t remember ever seeing him in a match).  I once had some “professional” wrestlers (they got paid but weren’t on any of the big circuits) come into our store years ago and they talked about how they had to practice their “speeches” that they’d give after every match and there were classes on how to yell at the camera.  They also admitted that the hardest thing to do was to keep from laughing when their partner/friend/ally/opponent/enemy/whatever said something incredibly stupid.  That’s why when you watch professional wrestling, especially from the 1980s-1990s, you’ll see people gritting their teeth or sucking in their cheeks.  They’re not trying to look mean and vicious.  They’re just trying to not blow their cover as an actor.

And Ric’s got it down to a science.  Every time he yells he throws his arms up in the air and sticks his gut out with a loud howl.  And it’s usually a “boo-yah” or “woo-hoo” followed by something either unintelligible or the name of the place where they’re digging.  You can predict where every scream is going to happen in a show and they conveniently edit it so that you have to hear it multiple times.

Sadly, every time I watch the show I’m reminded of another show.  One that many people watched over the years and caused many parents to complain.  There’s an episode of the old Ren & Stimpy Show called “Mad Dog Höek” where the guys have just finished a wrestling match and both the winners and losers get a chance to make their cases.  It’s hysterical and I end up quoting it at one point during the show or another because it fits so perfectly.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, I give you the Ending Speech Scene from “Mad Dog Höek” — try to watch American Diggers and not think of this.  I dare you.

Last episodes of “American Stuffers”

Yes.  It is with a heavy heart and a hanging head that I admit that today I actually watched the American Stuffers episodes on Animal Planet.

You have to understand, though.  The satellite signals on the movie channels were spotty and there was nothing on network television worth watching.  Plus — and honestly, no disrespect to the Ross Family and their employees — but the show is just like a really bad car wreck.  You know you shouldn’t look but once you do you just can’t turn away from it.

I didn’t watch all of the episodes today.  I watched “The Dog Named Precious,” “The Cat Without a Nose,” “The Hairless Dog,” and “A Tornado Hits Romance.”  I will say that I’m very glad Daniel was able to put the cat’s nose back on before its owner came to pick it up (and no one noticed the problem).  The skin coming off of the Chinese Crested (which the owner proudly stated she’d paid $250 as a puppy) though was a close one.  And her having the dog’s testicles removed to have sperm harvested by a company in Washington just had me rolling on the floor.  Yeah, I’m not a biology major, but I can’t imagine them living in there for very long, much less long enough to ship them to Washington from Texas (where they drove from to get the dog freeze-dried).

The pet chicken being freeze-dried, though, had me baffled.  I know people keep chickens as pets.  I have friends that have had good and bad things come from doing that.  But if the chicken dies on its own, I’d be thinking about disposing of it correctly, not how it’s going to look in the center of the dinner table as a centerpiece.  Okay, the lady with the chicken actually said she was going to decorate her chicken coops with all of her pet chickens after they die and she has them freeze-dried.  And she named all of them after characters from Jersey Shore.  So, take from that what you want.

I can say that I was moved by the lady who had her Yorkie for 14 years and met the crew from Xtreme Taxidermy at the Big Buck Classic Hunters’ Convention (where most of the other attendees were grossed-out by the pets on display).  She’d had a lot of loss in her life and having her dog preserved as a way to help her cope may not be for me but I sure hope it helps her.  Plus, she wants the dog buried with her when she passes away.  Sadly, the dog will look better longer than she will, but at least they’ll be together.

And I also have to admit that the story about the dog that had been skinned by another taxidermist and left the crew of the shop with a puzzle on how to make him look good again was interesting.  Mostly because they were very careful to not tell the lady who brought in the dog how badly butchered the job the previous taxidermist did.  I was glad to see that they were able to take that idiot’s mistakes and fix it so the lady was happy.  Now I just hope she doesn’t watch the episode and see exactly what was done to her dog.

So, yeah, I let the redneck in me have a few laughs and sat agog at some of the things said/done on the show.  There aren’t any future episodes coming (it was cancelled), but Romance, Arkansas isn’t too terribly far from my family’s old stomping grounds.  I’m pretty sure I could find it if I felt the need.

How bored am I today??

Got a chance to sleep-in a bit this morning.  Mostly because I forgot to set my alarm and Celeste realized I was sleeping soundly and didn’t want to wake me.  Sadly, that made me late for taking my medication.  Oh, it wasn’t so late that it made me ill or have a bad reaction — it just meant that the time I would be zonked-out because of the side-effects would be much later in the morning and could have screwed up my schedule for the day.

But then I remembered, I didn’t have a schedule for today.  Laundry was done by Husband (THANK YOU!) and the dogs and cat were watered and fed this morning by Youngest Son.

So, what have I done today?  Sadly, I’ve sat and watched a marathon of The Pink Panther, Return of the Pink Panther, and Revenge of the Pink Panther.  If I wanted to, I could switch the channel at the moment and watch A Shot in the Dark — the funniest of all of the “Pink Panther/Inspector Clouseau” movies.  Actually, my favorite characters are Cato and Inspector Dreyfus.  Burt Kwuok was hysterical and Herbert Lom perfected the nervous tic that showed just how insane Clouseau made Dreyfus.

I remember watching the early “Pink Panther” movies on television (since I wasn’t born when they were made) but the later ones I remember going to see in the theater.  Of course, as a kid, I thought the slapstick was hysterical.  Now that I’m much older, the same things don’t make me laugh but I still get a big chuckle out of the jokes I didn’t understand years ago.

Classic movies are the ones that can stand the test of time.  I worry, though, that these classics will soon be removed from the “classic bin” because many people today would not get the jokes and/or cultural/current event references made in them.

Towel and Star Wars Day — Celebrate both!

No new news on the job front.  My Cadre Manager was supposed to get back in touch with my ERO counselor but that didn’t happen.  I have been given lots of really good advice and had friends recommend a lot of options.  I’m keeping everything open at the moment.  I’ll continue fighting for what’s best for my family and me.

So, since there’s really nothing new, I’ll just wish everyone a Happy Towel Day and Happy Star Wars Day.  Towel Day is for fans of Douglas Adams and his “Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy” (all six books) and in memory of his death on this date in 2001.  Star Wars Day marks the anniversary of the premiere of Star Wars: Episode IV, A New Hope in 1977.  35 years ago….wow, I feel old.

I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve read Douglas’ books (not just the H2G2 series) as well as listened to the radio shows, audiobooks, and watched the movies.  Douglas Adams also worked on episodes of Doctor Who and Monty Python’s Flying Circus.  You can tell I’m a big fan, huh?

I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve seen the original trilogy of Star Wars.  I even have the theatrical releases on DVD because I can’t stand watching all of the added on stuff from 1997.  I remember seeing the movies in the theater, when that was the only option, and then recording them off HBO onto our Betamax player (yes, I really am that old) and watching them every day after school.

Hey, when your dad is the principal of your school, you don’t hang out with a lot of people, and you’re focused on keeping your grades high you find yourself as one of the biggest geeks doing what geeks do best — reciting movie lines.  After I’d seen each of the original three over 500 times each, I quit counting.  I still have no idea how many times I’ve seen them all.  In college I could win bets by having people play a part of the soundtrack and begin to act and recite the exact scene just based on the music!  Okay, it was only good for winning bar bets and has never helped me in any sort of career, but it was fun all the same!

So all you hoopy froods, get your towels and grab a bottle of Old Janx Spirit (from H2G2 or SW, your choice) and head out to Millyways!

Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. — Douglas Adams

Busy! No time! Got to hurry!

Sorry y’all but I’m really busy today.  Have eBay auctions that are ending, ones that have ended and paid for that have to be packed for shipping tomorrow, and I’ve finally heard from the EEO officer and have paperwork to read and sign for him.

Plus I’ve not been able to get all of my playing with the dogs, television watching, napping, and all-around laying-about done today.  Guess I’ll do that tonight.  Maybe.  Or I might just brave the couch and see if it causes me to pass-out like it does the guys.

Gotta be ready for tomorrow — Youngest Son has his last junior high dance that night.  He swears he’s not asked anyone to go with him but I think he’ll find someone or at least hang-out with “the gang” while he’s there.

Still irritated at Mythbusters’ “Swinging Pirates” episode

I know it’s just a minor thing, but I really liked the effect in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie that showed the six pirates swinging in a ball made of bones and climbing their way to the top of the cliff and saving themselves.  The Mythbusters tried to recreate the myth that it could be done and messed it up.  Big time.  In my opinion anyway — I’m not a scientist.

They used metal to create the ball — good idea.  They had openings at the bottom of the ball large enough for them to crawl through — bad idea.  They used two cables to hold the ball above the ground — not accurate since in the movie it’s supposed to be a single vine.  But they did prove that they could climb up the “cliff” by having everyone help climb a cargo net on the side of a building.  They really should have replicated the actual conditions.  The two safety cables impeded the ability for the momentum to increase.

However, on the same episode, the Build Team made a pulse jet and had an expert come and show them an effective way to build one and how it should run.  I wonder how many WWII British survivors watched the episode and had bad memories afterwards?  The one their expert built sounded just like a V-1 flying bomb, also known as a “Buzz Bomb” or “Doodlebug” by the British who listened to them as they flew overhead before crashing and exploding.  And if you’ve never heard of the V-1 — go look it up.  They did lots of damage.

Now I’m going to watch the new episode for this week — any time you make a hot water heater explode on television is awesome.

Stupid not-feeling-well kind of day

I hate it when I wake up to crummy weather.  I hate it even more when from out of nowhere I have a sore throat, horrible headache, and crummy weather.  Add a low-grade fever and you’ve got a great snapshot of me today.

I do have to give a big “THANK YOU!” to Husband and Youngest Son for straightening up the house and running errands while I was in my medically-induced semi-coma this morning.  Husband and I thought we could stay up late on Friday night like we did when we were younger while Youngest Son was at his friend’s sleepover.  Both of us are feeling the ill effects of trying to be “young” again today.  And, yes, the evil couch has been taking its turns on the guys — each of them having a moment or two to drift off to sleep.  I’ve been staying on the loveseat but the curse is beginning to spread.

Anyway, EPIX is showing Iron Man 2 at the moment.  It will be followed by Thor (which Youngest Son hasn’t seen yet) and then the evening will be capped-off by Captain America.  Yes, we’re getting our Avengers prepping done tonight.

So, back to the living room and my attempts at keeping my own personal global warming in check.  It’s not terribly warm or humid but I feel like I’m in a sauna.  Iced tea, anyone?

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