Well, here I am. And so far, this blog thing is going well. Actually, I wouldn’t know if it is or not because I’ve only just started.
You see, there comes a time in each person’s life (usually) when they say that they need to make their mark on the world. They need to be remembered for something. They want that feeling of immortality that comes from having others read the words they’ve printed on the page and, perhaps, be inspired or at least entertained by them. For me, this is not that time. That time came last March (2011) when I turned 40 and thought, “What a wonderful idea writing a blog would be! I can log all of the information that’s trapped in my head and show that reaching middle-age isn’t such a thing to be frowned upon.” However, as usual, my brain was in the kicking-and-screaming “I don’t wanna write or be prophetic!” phase and since I didn’t start a blog on my birthday, the whole idea was chucked-out.
Now, it’s the day after Christmas 2011 — sometimes referred to as “Boxing Day” or “Exchange the Crappy Gifts Day” or the “How Much Did I Really Drink to Avoid the In-Laws Day.” My brain once again started whispering suggestions that starting a blog in 2012 would be an awesome idea. Not “awesome” as in it’s going to totally blow your mind and take your breath away; more in the “Bill and Ted”-genre of “awesome” meaning “cool” or “rad” or “awesome.” Plus, the Mayan Calendar says the world’s coming to an end on December 21, 2012 — so if they’re right, I don’t have to do a minimum of 365 posts (the goal being at least one for every day). Then again, these are the same people who couldn’t predict the ruin of their own civilization, so I’m not putting a lot of stock into their prediction.
But, if it happens, I’ll be sure to let you know. If I know, that is. What with the world ending, how would anyone know?
So, dear reader(s)/myself, this is the introduction to a blog which should officially begin on January 1, 2012. I state “should officially begin” because we all know that anyone can get hit by a bus, lose their Internet connection, or the Zombie Apocalypse officially begins and then who’s got the time to sit and write about trivial things.
The “voices in my head” have already started fighting over who gets to go first and about what topic. For the record, I don’t hear “voices” in my head. I hear one voice — mine — but it goes on-and-on-and-on about things constantly and I never know if or when it will shut up. I figured that this blog might also be therapeutic in a way that I could dump all of this information here and not have to worry about forgetting it somewhere else. I’ve been reading Carrie Fisher’s books Wishful Drinking and Shockaholic — the way her mind works reminds me of how mine does except that I’m not hooked-up to a car battery every six-or-so weeks, causing me to lose bits of memory. A lot of my memory loss was done the good ol’-fashioned way — repression, guilt, and the occasional overuse of adult beverages.
So, if you’ve sat through all of this drivel, feel free to continue when the blog officially starts. Who knows, you might be reading the beginning of a book I’ll publish and become fabulously wealthy. Or maybe they’re the last sane thoughts that go through my mind before the zombies need exterminating. Or, more likely, you’ll be a lonely psychology major who’s stumbled upon the disjointed ramblings of an interesting thesis subject and plan to use the information within to publish a book and become fabulously wealthy.
Either way, I’m not writing again until next year. So there.