A brief review/rant of last night’s debate

I have lots and lots to do today, so this one is going to be quick.  I watched the Republican Debate last night and found myself again frustrated by what I heard and saw.  So, since I’m busy, this is going to be a quick synopsis of what I saw and remember from the show.

The four candidates were introduced by CNN in an almost WWE ”wrasslin’” style as each was given a nickname and funky background music.  They all came out onstage and stood for the National Anthem.  Politicians need to learn where their heart is — most of them were covering their spleen with their right hand.

Questions were posed and Frothy Mix (Santorum) and Mittens (Romney) sat and argued like small children trying to one-up each other.  Newt (Gingrich) looks as if he’s put on a few pounds and the way he sat in his chair holding his right hand made me wonder if he was constantly checking his pulse or if he was just trying to control himself from smacking Mittens for all of his inane comments.  DocRon (Paul) sat at the other end of the stage and was often ignored but did make sure that when he was asked to give a “quick response” by the moderator that he said, “No, not a quick response.  I get one minute like they do!”

Frothy Mix kept falling into the “John Kerry Trap” of  saying that he “voted for something before he opposed it” which the other candidates, with the exception of DocRon, seemed to not notice.  DocRon, however, did jump on it.  He also made a comment about not believing something that Frothy Mix said was “real.”  Frothy Mix tried to interrupt by showing his hand and arm to DocRon and saying, “Sorry!  I’m definitely real!” to which DocRon simply replied, “Congratulations.”

Mittens kept trying to remind everyone about how he was affiliated with the Olympics but never could get the right words out.  He said he was “in the Olympics,” not that he served on the Olympic Committee.  If he was “in” the Olympics, then in what sport did he compete?  And, in my own opinion, who gives a crap that he worked on the Olympic Committee.  True, he uses it as a way to prove that he’s the most qualified to run the country economically, but that’s with a budget of billions which only people like he and his friends have, not the type of budgets with which we “regular people” are familiar.

Newt made a great statement that everyone is comparing what they’re going to do with what the current government is doing and pointed out that the current government is the problem.  Like, duh!!  If the others didn’t already know that, then they don’t need to be up there.

DocRon was patient as he was mostly ignored throughout the night and did defend himself and his ideas when he could.  However, I do believe that he often got some of the biggest applause and was the only person who, as everyone tried to make sure to mention as many of the Bill of Rights amendments as they could, mentioned the Second Amendment.  And I agree with him that if someone has entered the country illegally and is trespassing on your property, you should be able to call the police and have them arrested (and they can be referred to the proper immigration authorities).  Why not?  If I can report citizens for trespassing, why do illegal immigrants get a free pass?

At the end of the debate, I really got upset when they were asked their final question and only two of them answered it.  Newt and DocRon actually answered the question.  They passed my first rule of having a debate.  When it was Mittens’ turn and he started his campaign speech, the moderator stopped him and asked him to answer the question.  Mittens countered with, “You get to ask the questions you want; I get to give the answers I want.”  Frothy Mix took the same approach and both stayed “on-message” and wouldn’t answer the question directly.

So, if I had to choose someone at this moment, it would be either DocRon or Newt.  Newt actually isn’t “presidential” in my eyes, but he at least can answer a direct question!  Same for DocRon.  You might be stunned at what you hear but he’s not going to mince words or go off on his “message” instead of addressing the issue.

They said last night this could be the last Republican Debate — I seriously doubt it.  Everyone’s in-it-to-win-it and no one is going home until they mathematically can’t win.  And some are trying to get enough delegates so they get a prime-time slot during the Republican National Convention, which worries many in the RNC.

I just hope that the next debate is better than this one was and that questions can actually be answered directly.  And if they don’t, I still think dropping them through the floor or squirting them with water like you do your dog or cat that won’t behave would be fine.

My brain hurts….the continuing story

At least today I’m not staring as much at the computer.  Today I’m looking at books, sending text messages, and making phone calls in order to help get our production underway.  So, since I’m going to be really busy with the show now, I might as well give my faithful readers some information about it.

Our local community theatre group is doing two performances of “Arsenic and Old Lace.”  If you’ve never seen the play or the movie starring Cary Grant, then you need to as soon as you can!  It’s a great story about the Brewster Sisters who perform their “charity” on lonely elderly gentlemen and are assisted by their nephew Teddy (who believes he’s Teddy Roosevelt) in “disposing” of the evidence.  Another nephew, Mortimer, lives with them and is a drama critic for the newspaper and plans to marry Elaine who lives with her father, Reverend Harper, just across the cemetery from the Brewsters.  Mortimer finds out what his aunts have been doing and tries to protect them, but is soon confronted with his long-lost cousin Jonathan (and his associate Dr. Einstein) who has plans on making the old Brewster home his new headquarters of crime.  It’s a hysterical production and all of the actors have been having a blast working on the scenes and getting their lines memorized.  Husband is even in this production.  He’s not as big on the theatre as I am, but I convinced him to audition since he’s seen the movie thousands of times and he will be portraying Dr. Einstein.

I’m the technical director for the production which means I have to help design the set, design the costumes, find the props, manage the technical crews, and act as stage manager during the productions.  Finding a place has been difficult since the only “theatre” (actually built for theatrical productions) in town is (1) incredibly expensive to use and (2) doesn’t want people to build sets on their parquet flooring they’ve installed for the annual Gospel Sing that comes through every August.  They also only allow the person who sold them their lighting and sound system to operate them during any productions and he’s WAY too expensive for us (even though the director and I are perfectly capable of running the equipment).  When they built the theatre they even decided to cut-out the fly loft and counterweight system because they figured an additional 20 feet less to build would help the budget but didn’t realize that theatrical productions need a way to bring scenery in and out and that often the easiest way is to go up.  Plus, our production requires a “practical” (means that they have to be used and built to code) set of stairs for Teddy to imagine as San Juan Hill every time he goes up them and screams “Charge!”  Since they’d have to be fastened to the floor, the theatre is a no-go for this production.

We would use the Junior High’s theatre/auditorium where Youngest Son’s recent production of “Aladdin, Jr.” was held, but (1) they want too much to rent the space, (2) the area is occasionally used by classes and our stuff wouldn’t be as secure as we need it, and (3) we’d still have to build the set with the staircase and that’s going to cost more.  Even though the assistant principal of the Junior High is in the play as the evil Jonathan, we still couldn’t afford to have it there.

We’re currently rehearsing at the church where our director works.  There’s a nice area that was part of the original church that’s been converted into a theatre.  We asked if we could use the space but they turned us down because it’s not a “Christian production.”  I’m still trying to figure out if they’re objecting to the fact that it’s not about a story in the Bible or if they’re objecting to the language, violence, and murder that takes place.  Last time I read the Christian Bible I saw a lot of violence and murder in there, so perhaps that’s not what they’re talking about.

Finally, we’ve found that the local Civic Center will allow us to use their main lobby as a theatrical space.  And, to make things even more fortunate for us, they already have a large staircase right in the middle of it!  We’ll have a thrust stage configuration — that means the audience will be seated on three sides of the stage and it makes them feel as if they’re inside the Brewsters’ living room as well.  Add a couple of doors, a window seat and window, furniture, and use large curtains to stand-in as the walls (cheaper than having to build them) and we’ll have a minimalistic version of the set most people see but it will still work and give focus to the actors and not the background.  Plus, it’s a LOT cheaper!!  That’s a big bonus in community theatre!

So now that we’ve found a place, we’ve had to work on the dates.  On the weekend we wanted there’s a soccer tournament scheduled in the exposition hall — right next to the main lobby area.  That’s not going to work.  There are other events at the schools and in town on other weekends with which many cast members would have conflicts.  We wanted to do three performances but have had to scale it back to just two for the dates that are available for the actors, crew members, and the building.  But at least we now have dates so we can start selling tickets.

Yesterday I spent the day working on costume designs.  I started trying to sketch the costumes for the Brewster Sisters and for Jonathan and Mortimer.  Then, I finally gave-in and started looking on the Internet for photos of the types of clothing that I want them to wear.  Since it’s a community theatre production, each actor will have to create his/her own costume.  This is when we love the local thrift shops, resale stores, and free-stores — especially since this is a period piece (supposed to take place in the 1940s) and a lot of old clothing can be found at those places.  A little accessorizing, a little altering, and a little imagination will make them work and on a reasonable budget.  I made costume plots for each of the characters and handed them out at last night’s rehearsal.  They have until next Monday to start finding parts of their costume and have to bring in what they have that night so we can make sure they’re on the right track.

Next is the prop list.  This one is going to be easy and hard at the same time.  There’s a prop list in the back of our script books — but it’s as if you were staging a Broadway production (actually, it is the list from the Broadway production) and we don’t have that kind of space or money.  Our director is loaning us all of the set pieces since he has a Victorian-style house and a lot of extra furniture that will work perfectly in our “make-do” space.  I’ve been calling people who say they have items we can borrow and trying to come up with ideas on how to “fake” the things we need but can’t get.  Youngest Son wants to major in theatre now and has volunteered to work on the prop crew so he can get some backstage experience.  Little does he know that his experience is going to be cleaning a lot of dirty things I find at junk stores, things that people donate (which usually have been sitting in a basement for years), and building/creating items that we can’t find but are important to the play.  Technical theatre is often a “trial-by-fire” and he’s going to get one.

Our lighting is going to be different since we have to use the lights in the lobby and a few additional “practical” lights and up-lights so that we can have brightness and darkness in the “house” as scripted.  No theatrical lighting here.  I’ve been working with theatrical lighting and lightboards since I was a teenager, so for me it’s going to be different trying to get the mood-lighting I want with very little with which to work.  Somehow, though, we’ll make it happen.

Fortunately I’ve gotten new materials for my professional makeup kit because I have to make the actor playing Jonathan look somewhat like Boris Karloff (that’s one of the running gags in the show).  He’s a great guy and really open to letting me experiment on his head.  You don’t usually get an actor/actress who’s willing to let you paint and glue stuff all over them.  And the other makeup and hair designs for the rest of the actors will have to wait for now.  They’ll be doing their own anyway since no one else has special-effect makeup.  Well, there are ladies playing male roles, but it’s not that hard to get them to look male-ish enough for the theatre.  I’m just going to have to be sure the Brewster Sisters have gray/white hair, that Elaine hides her purple highlights, and that the rest of the cast (well, those who have hair, that is) gets theirs styled correctly for their part.

I know in the end I’ll look back at all of this and think about what a great job everyone has done and how hard we’ve all worked and smile.  Right now, though, my brain won’t shut-up because the “voices” have each taken sections of the play (lights, sound effects, costumes, makeup, etc.) and are arguing about how to get it all done on a budget of about zero dollars.  So, you’ll probably be able to tell when I’m really busy ’cause my posts might not be as eloquent, insightful, or as long as previous posts.  But, the little “voices” nag me every day to make sure my daily post is here — so I don’t think remembering to do this will be a problem.

My brain hurts….

I’ve spent all day in front of the computer working on costume designs, prop lists, poster designs, and script reference “cheat sheets” for our local community theatre’s upcoming production.

Anyone who thinks being onstage is the hardest part doesn’t understand what we technical theatre people have to do to make them look good.  And right now, my pillow is looking better so I’ll write more tomorrow.  It’s going to be a fun production!

Presidents’ Day Sale: Isn’t that every day?

Once again we have another Federal holiday and the newspapers, radio, and television are filled to the brim with advertisements for Presidents’ Day Sales.  Will we ever have a holiday that doesn’t involve unbridled avarice?  Sure, we’re a capitalist society, but we do we have to change our holidays from times of remembrance and honor to just simply buying the crap out of everything?

Of course, I’m also one of the “old fogeys” who remembers back-in-the-day when we used to celebrate George Washington’s birthday on one date (February 22nd) and Abraham Lincoln’s birthday on another (February 12th).  And if you’re reading this and have no idea who either of those people are, then please, in all seriousness, stop reading my blog because you’re just going to embarrass yourself.  Our school classrooms were always decorated with silhouettes of Washington and Lincoln and the red-white-and-blue bulletin board borders were strung around the room and decorated each desk.  Sometimes there would be contests to see who could dress-up most like either of them and some teachers who only wanted to have to decorate once in the month of February would put the silhouettes of our first and sixteenth presidents (facing each other, usually) inside a large pink heart.  That one always confused me.

After the recognition of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Birthday as a Federal holiday, a lot of states stopped celebrating Lincoln’s birthday because they didn’t want to have to give their employees another paid day-off.  Some states still celebrate it, however, as a state holiday (Illinois being one of the biggest).  But if we had a holiday for every president and event in our country’s history, the government would never be open and all Federal employees would spend most of their time off with pay.  Actually, there are some days it seems like they do that anyway.  Technically, there is no “Presidents’ Day” or “President’s Day” or “Presidents Day” (depending on your interpretation of punctuation rules).  The official designation is Washington’s Birthday and no formal bill has ever changed that.  Some have tried — Nixon issued an executive order to celebrate all presidents (including himself, of course) but that didn’t change the holiday.  A bill was even introduced in 2001 but it never made it out of the subcommittee trying to present it.

So, the sales we’re having are actually to celebrate Washington’s birthday.  But let’s look at the phrasing of what’s printed on most of our calendars because the greeting card industry and all the politically-correct rulesmongers won’t have us ignoring the other 43 presidents we’ve had.  Presidents’ Day.  A day for all of the presidents.

Now let’s add the commercialization part.  Presidents’ Day Sale.  A day to sell presidents?  We have that every day, don’t we?  Look at the current campaigns — it’s a battle for who’s got the most money; who can spend the most in a certain area; and who is going to promise the most going back to the citizens just so long as they donate enough to help them get elected.  No one without a huge “war chest” could even dream of becoming president.  If you don’t already have your own large amount of money that’s doing nothing but waiting to be spent, a PAC, a Super-PAC, or a Super-Sized-PAC-with-fries-and-a-drink, you don’t stand a chance.

Technically, we buy-and-sell our presidents every day.  After one election ends and the inauguration occurs, hopefuls for the next one four years down the road start jockeying for position.  And anyone in politics who says they’re not interested in running is probably lying through their teeth.  But behind the scenes, where the lobbyists and special-interest groups lurk while pretending they’re not involved, the money gathering begins.  If you’ve got the money, we’ve got the candidate for you!

It’s been jokingly suggested that we should make all of our politicians wear uniforms with their “sponsors” logos on them, like the NASCAR drivers do.  There’d be some who’d have to change outfits four-or-more times a day just so every donor would get equal “screen time.”  Watching them trying to give a speech or meet-and-greet with the public would be hysterical as they try to ensure shaking enough hands while holding a sponsoring beverage in the other.  Shoot, the State of the Union address would have everyone sitting and listening to the president while an aide did the old “hat dance” (where the winning driver had to briefly wear a hat from each of the race’s sponsors during the post-race interview) as they sat in the gallery.  I’d almost pay to see that!

The current political climate is already bragging and complaining about money raised and spent and who has how much.  Sure, they say we have “free” elections — but don’t take that too literally.  We’ll pay for it, for good or for bad, one way or another.

Sleepover Survivor’s Summary

Last night was hysterical!  Youngest Son had two friends over for his first “group” sleepover.  One of his friends wasn’t able to attend but the other two were more than happy to make up for the missing energy in the room.

Oddly, they wanted to start the evening by watching the DVD we have of this year’s school musical.  Youngest Son and his friend Leonard were both in the show.  Leonard was the lead actor and had not seen the DVD yet (the show was produced in November 2011).  Youngest Son, Leonard, and Sheldon were having a blast watching the show, telling backstage stories, and re-winding the action to see the goof-ups and other silly things going on during the performance.  Sadly, the student they “hired” to make the DVD only filmed one night out of the three productions and had a field day with the zoom button.  Let’s just say that if you get motion-sick easily, you do not want to watch the DVD.

After that we ordered pizza.  I made sure each of the guys brought their own bottle of soda or other suitable beverage because I didn’t want to go out and buy a lot and have a bunch of caffeine-laden sodas (which I don’t drink at all) lying around the house.  Three large deep-dish pizzas lasted a lot longer than I thought they would.  Teenage boys are notorious for scarfing-down anything that’s covered in pepperoni and cheese but there was still some left this morning.  After the pizza-snarf began, they decided that they wanted to watch a real movie.  Leonard had never seen Star Wars: Episode IV, A New Hope which just completely baffled me since all of the guys are pretty well-versed in nerdy/geeky genre information.

Quick  note here — you may recognize the names of Youngest Son’s friends from a television show.  They call themselves “The Big Bang Club” at school and each kid has a character and they even call themselves by those names.  They even added a female friend of theirs (as Penny) so they’d have the whole core cast.

Back to the story.  Since I’m also a huge Star Wars geek (seen the original trilogy movies over 1000+ times each), I asked if they wanted to see the awful 1990′s “remakes” with “added special effects,” the original theatrical version (my favorite), or the latest Blu-Ray release for the 30th Anniversary.  I was impressed that they picked the theatrical release.  So, I popped-in the DVD for them and waited for them to be amazed with the movie.

That didn’t take long.  Not the being amazed part.  The being interested part.  I forgot that teenage boys also have a short attention span and when it came to watching the entire movie, that wasn’t going to happen.  Youngest Son and Sheldon wanted to prank-call Penny because Leonard is upset he broke-up with her and they wanted to leave a message on her voicemail about it.  (No, I’m not kidding.  “Leonard” and “Penny” really were “dating” and have broken-up now.)  Then they each wanted to play with their Nintendo DS units.  Then they saw Youngest Son’s Chess 4 set and wanted to play that.  All of this while the movie is still playing in the background.  Husband agreed to be the fourth so they could play Chess 4 — a game designed, you guessed it, so four people could play chess against each other at the same time.  Sheldon said he knew he was going to be slaughtered because he and Youngest Son play chess at school all the time and Youngest Son beats him easily.  And he did again on this version — he wiped-out the other three players in almost no time.

After that they talked and laughed and watched the last minutes of the movie before the credits started to roll.  Once the movie was officially over, they decided to play games on our PlayStation 3.  We have some that are for up-to four players, so they each grabbed a controller and started playing.  After they tired of one they’d put in another.  Soon they wanted to play Lego Star Wars and took turns trying to play in co-op mode when only Youngest Son knew how the game worked.

Finally, around 11:30 p.m., I told them they needed to get off the PS3 and get their sleeping bags out.  They didn’t necessarily have to go to sleep, but I was going to bed and wanted to be sure that they got some rest since Leonard’s parents would be by early to pick him up for church.  Husband had already fallen asleep, so I went to bed to read while listening to make sure the guys were okay.  A pillow fight broke out between them.  Actually, to hear them tell it, it was a “pillows versus ‘bag of wet cement’ fight” since Leonard’s pillow was a lot firmer than the other two’s.  Soon they teamed-up and it became a pillow ambush.  They finally decided to watch Star Wars: Episode VI, Return of the Jedi because Leonard had never seen that one either and wanted to know why everyone thinks the “It’s a trap!” jokes are funny.  He stayed awake long enough to hear “It’s a trap!” in the movie and then drifted-off.  Sheldon fell asleep and then woke up and went back to sleep after the movie was over.  Youngest Son stayed-up for the whole thing and turned off the TV and DVD player when it was over.  I had already passed-out in bed after the beginning scenes had played.

I got up at 5 a.m. like I do every morning to take my medication and let the dogs out for “walkies.”  I could tell the boys had tired themselves out because there wasn’t a peep coming from the living room floor.  Either that or Cat had slept on their faces and killed them, but I was pretty sure that hadn’t happened.  Usually there’s a little snoring out of Youngest Son, but he was too tired to do so.  After going back to bed and getting up a couple of hours later, Leonard was awake and playing on his DS; Youngest Son was just starting to awaken; and Sheldon was still crashed-out on the floor.  I ordered them up and to get ready so that we could go out for breakfast at the worldwide-franchised evil clown fast food restaurant just a couple of blocks away.  While the kids ate, Husband, Celeste and I sat and had some breakfast as well while waiting to return the boys to their parents (who were to meet us there).  Husband said his coffee was McCrappy and realized why he never goes there for breakfast anymore.  Ever.  Once the parents had retrieved their offspring, we returned home.

Fortunately the guys didn’t mess-up the house and things were easily put back in order.  We thought about taking Celeste to the self-service dog wash a few towns over but they’re closed on Sundays.  So, I went and took a nap.

I remember the days of sleepovers at my house and going to parties at friends’ houses.  Everyone believed they could stay up all night and not have to sleep and sometimes punished those who did by dunking their bra in water and putting it in the freezer.  At least the guys didn’t do silly things like that at our house — although one admitted they wanted to try the “hand in the bowl of warm water” trick.  The only reason they didn’t was because Mythbusters had already proven it didn’t work.  Lucky for them.  If they’d tried it or if it had worked on my hardwood floors, there would be three “geeks” learning to sand, stain, and seal 79-year-old wood with their toothbrushes.  And I don’t believe there’s an app for that.

And now, a brief announcement.

Getting ready for Youngest Son’s friends to arrive.  Watching the ABC Family Harry Potter Marathon.  Finishing my daily post.  That is all.

True, I could be doing something more momentous for my 50th post.  I just don’t have the time today!

Dull, dull, dull: Part Deux

Another uneventful day.  I should be grateful, I guess.  Usually when my days are incredibly busy they’re not busy in a “good” way.  My job requires a natural/national disaster for me to be employed and it’s kind of embarrassing being the only person in a room cheering for a hurricane to make landfall so I can earn a paycheck and pay some bills.

I did supervise Youngest Son preparing for his friends to visit tomorrow.  There will be three teenage boys (including Youngest Son) “camped-out” on my living room floor tomorrow night watching movies and playing video games.  All of them are highly intelligent and easily bored if they’re not intellectually challenged.  Fortunately, being a parent and already having raised a child who’s now in college, I know that large amounts of soda and pizza will keep their appetites satisfied and the large library of DVDs, board games, video games, books, etc. will keep their minds entertained.  At least until the caffeine wears-off and they collapse on their sleeping bags.  I get to enjoy the “I’m not tired” protests during the evening as I remind them that they’ll have to get up the next morning and then watching them amble around the house like zombies because they believed they could stay awake all night.

There was some good news today from my Internet friends.  A “friend” of mine became a U.S. citizen today.  I only type “friend” with quotation marks because my friend, his wife, their family and I have never actually met.  We’re all fans of RiffTrax (from the creators of Mystery Science Theater 3000 — that’ll be another post someday) and we along with a LOT of other people have become friends over the Internet.  But I’m very proud of his achievement.  I have another “friend” in that group who became a citizen as well.  I’m not collecting non-citizens and converting them, but I’m glad of their choice to join our great experiment and now they’ll be able to become disgruntled with their government representation just like the rest of us.

Well, at least I posted today.  Some days it’s harder to think of a topic or something worth reading.  I’m pretty sure by the time this weekend is over I’ll have good subjects.  Oh, and Presidents’ Day has already been writing itself, so be sure to come back that day!

Dull, dull, dull….

Pretty boring day.  Took medicine and then took a nap. Got up to watch TV and worked around the house.  Broke a tooth and went to the dentist.  Scheduled another dental appointment for next week to have tooth taken care of.  Made dinner.  Got a text that Step-Father fell and broke his lower leg.  Watched TV.  Tried to play videogame and got stuck within the first 15 minutes.  Ate dinner.  Watched Big Bang Theory.  Realized I’d not written a blog yet.  Got laptop out and started typing.

Pretty sad when you can sum-up your day in less than 100 words.  Oh well, not every day is going to be thrilling.  Maybe tomorrow will be more exciting.  Youngest Son has the day off, and he’ll be busy preparing for his sleepover Saturday night.  At least I remembered to post something tonight.

Teen drama isn’t just for girls….

I have always been very happy that I have two sons.  Don’t get me wrong, if I’d had a daughter, I’d love her just as much as I do my boys.  But, having been raised basically as a boy (Biological Father always wanted a son and I’m the only child he’s ever had), I’m not sure I’d know what to do with a girl.  I’m not into Barbie and makeup and dresses.  I don’t watch fashion shows or keep up with the latest dreamboat boy bands.  I’m much more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt than I am a skirt or even capris or shorts.  The only dresses I own are my wedding dress (which no longer fits) and a costume I bought for Halloween one year that’s just too awesome to get rid of.

I remember in school that Valentine’s Day was always a big issue.  You either got a card or candy because everyone else did or you got a flower/balloon/etc. because your boyfriend/girlfriend/parents sent you something.  And the ones who usually got something from their parents were mortified for at least a week.  If you didn’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend, you got nothing and you went on about your day.  If you did get something, you loved hearing your name called over the intercom with the other “blessed” members of your school who would all be mobbed in the office by everyone else who wanted to see which person got the biggest gift.

Or, occasionally, you’d be told you had a gift waiting — perhaps a balloon or candy sold from one of the school’s clubs as a fundraiser — only to find that you did have something but it was “sent” from someone who actually didn’t send you anything.  And when you went to thank them for the nice gesture, they would laugh and make fun of the fact that you’d believe they’d actually take the time to send you something, much less pay for anything.  I fell victim to that a few times.  It didn’t help with Biological Father being my school’s principal from the time I was in 2nd grade until 8th grade.  Then he became an administrator and that was even worse.  I always felt bad when I saw it happen to others because I personally knew what they were going through and usually could figure out who’d been the person to pull the prank (especially since he/she usually couldn’t keep their mouth shut about it).

The same thing happened this year to Youngest Son.  He received a Valentine from one of the school clubs’ fundraisers signed with the name of a boy that he hangs-out with in a group before school.  Youngest Son told me that evening he thought it was creepy and even posted it on Facebook.  I lectured him on how rude that was, especially since the boy was a friend of his through Facebook as well and could read the post.  I told him that if someone had the time and thoughtfulness to remember him on Valentine’s Day that he should just be thankful.

I was so furious at how insensitive he was at having received a card with a Hershey’s Kiss from a male classmate that I went into maximum rant-drive.  I told him that perhaps the boy felt that Youngest Son was a good friend and wanted to show his appreciation.  I told him that maybe the boy had sent them to all of the guys that hang-out together as a friend.  I then explained that maybe he felt that Youngest Son was his only friend and that reading on Facebook that it was “creepy” would be so hurtful that perhaps the boy might become depressed.  I explained that maybe this boy had feelings for Youngest Son and the last thing he needed was to be made fun of by Youngest Son and his “friends” and asked how he would feel if the boy didn’t return to school the next day.  I also asked how he’d feel if the boy who might have been one that was picked-on by many others felt this was the last straw and never came back to school because he’d committed suicide.  I also told him that it could, possibly, just be a prank by someone with nothing better to do with their time to try to embarrass this boy and make Youngest Son the newest accomplice (having experienced that myself).

Youngest Son went online and deleted the post but I reminded him that anyone could have shared it and started spreading rumors.  Even one of his “friends” posted in the comments: “Gee, I didn’t think your door swung that way!”  Whether that “friend” was just trying to be funny (and failed) or really believes that Youngest Son feels that way is irrelevant.  It’s a small town with a lot of closed-minded people who don’t take kindly to people who think and feel differently than the “normal” folk do.  I told him the best thing to do would be to approach the boy the next morning at school and simply say “Thank you for thinking about me” and leave it at that.

Well, after school today, Youngest Son told me what he did.  He went to the boy and said thank you for the card and candy.  The boy said that he had been confused the evening before because he had received a card and candy addressed to him with Youngest Son’s name as the sender.  They both realized together — they were the victims of a poorly thought out prank.  Someone was trying to make them both look “bad” and get rumors started.  Both boys agreed that they weren’t going to fall into the “trap” that was laid for them and that they’d both enjoy the candy they didn’t have to pay for and would still be friends and hang-out in the mornings with the rest of their group.  No hard feelings and just laughter at whomever wasted their time and money on the trick.  They even told their friends what had happened and all of the other guys and girls thought it was funny that they figured out they’d been “pranked” and laughed that someone would be insensitive and silly enough to try it.  The group is still together and Youngest Son is even having a few (guys only, of course) over this weekend for a Star Wars marathon.  I still can’t believe that these are some of the smartest kids in the school and many STILL haven’t seen the original trilogy!!  How can that be??

Anyway, at least Youngest Son learned a valuable lesson.  He needs to think before he posts and be much more sensitive of other people’s feelings.  The world has changed and bullying doesn’t just happen on the schoolyard anymore.  I hope this lesson sticks with him for a long time ’cause I know high school won’t be any easier.

My obligatory Valentine’s Day blog post

February 14th — known ’round the world as “St. Valentine’s Day” or just “Valentine’s Day” if you refuse to put the religious part towards it.  Actually, it’s no longer a “religious holiday” since the Catholic church removed it from the “official calendar” in 1969 (what an odd year to do that).  In fact, it wasn’t really a Catholic celebration first.

Arcadian Lykaia (for the Greeks) or Lupercalia (for the pre-Romans) was a cleansing festival to release the purity, health and fertility of a city and its inhabitants.  There is debate whether it was a Greek or a Roman celebration first, but seeing how the Romans throughout history basically stole their history from the Greeks, we’ll say the Greeks get the praise on this one.  It was a celebration to the Greek god Pan (or the Roman equivalent Faunus) and goats and dogs were sacrificed while salt mealcakes were burned by Vestal Virgins.  I don’t have a goat; my dogs will NOT be sacrificed; and it’s pretty darned hard to find a Vestal Virgin around these parts — so we’ll just go back to the more modern version of the holiday.

If you ask most anyone why Valentine’s Day is celebrated, those who believe they know their history will say it’s because Saint Valentine was beheaded on February 14th.  Problem is, which Saint Valentine?  There’s Saint Valentine of Rome and Saint Valentine of Terni.  There is also record of another Valentine who was martyred in Africa but not much information is known about him.  True, Saint Valentine of Rome’s skull is still venerated by many and crowned with flowers while on exhibit at the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, Rome.  Saint Valentine of Terni is also buried on the Via Flaminia but not close to Saint Valentine of Rome.  Who knows what kinds of arguments might break out if they were close together.

The legend continues that Saint Valentine (it’s not noted which one) was arrested by Roman Emperor Claudius II who attempted to convert Valentine to Roman paganism.  Valentine refused, even though he was told he would be put to death if he did not convert, and attempted to convert Claudius II to Christianity.  As he was being held in prison, awaiting his execution, Valentine supposedly became enchanted with the jailer’s blind daughter.  The story ends with either Valentine leaving a love letter that he wrote the evening before his execution to the blind daughter professing his undying love (thus, the first “Valentine”) or that Valentine cured the jailer’s daughter of her blindness before being beheaded.  Either way, his head was lopped-off and it still baffles me why we don’t get boxes of little chocolate decapitated heads full of chewy goodness instead of the giant heart-shaped things.

However, the heart-shaped things were introduced into the holiday because of the possible love that Saint Valentine may or may not have had for the blind girl.  The first reference of love in connection with Valentine’s Day most likely came from Geoffrey Chaucer’s poem Parlement of Foules, written to commemorate the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II to Anne of Bohemia.  Because Chaucer refers to Valentine’s Day in the poem, many believed that he was writing about February 14th.  A little-known fact (unless you’re an English major like me and had to read Chaucer whether you liked it or not) is that Chaucer may have been referring to May 2nd, a celebration in the liturgical calendar of Valentine of Genoa.  You could  have guessed that religion would have crept back in even if the original Valentine story wasn’t true.  There may have been other writers who referred to February 14th and Valentine’s Day in their work, but dating medieval writings can be difficult and Chaucer is pretty well-known (for good or for bad) so I’m sticking with this version.  And it would make sense that Chaucer was referring to May 2nd because he spoke of birds seeking their mates and, even back in the 14th century, February was a little early and cold for birds to be thinking of mating.  But if this is the true version, then I guess we should be biting the heads off of small candy birds.  I do that with Peeps around another religious/pagan spring festival, but I digress.

So, where does it all come from?  We know the popular tradition of giving cards was done as a marketing ploy which makes publishers large sums of cash every February as people panic for something to send so they’re not picked-out as the one who forgot what holiday it was.  And of course florists jump-in with the flowers and candy and balloons which makes Valentine’s Day their equivalent of Black Friday for the year (at least until Mothers’ Day comes along).  Kids in American schools are either (1) required to purchase little cards that they can exchange with EVERY member of their class to show that they “want to be their Valentine” or (2) are forbidden to bring ANY cards, candy, etc. to school to share with their classmates for fear that someone might be forgotten, someone might get their feelings hurt, someone will think it’s a religious holiday, or because someone has a peanut allergy.  And, yes, I know that paper cards don’t have peanuts in them, but the person addressing the cards might have been munching on peanuts while writing their little name on the card or, more likely, the wealthier parents who want to show their child has more and attempts to “buy” the favor of his/her classmates by attaching large bags of candy to the card which could have peanuts.  It’s a vicious cycle.

The only St. Valentine’s “celebration” I can think of that won’t offend anyone religiously or cause them anaphylaxis is commemorating the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre of 1929.  For those who don’t know their history on this subject, I’ll make it brief ’cause otherwise I could do a huge post on this event alone.

On February 14, 1929, members of Al Capone’s South Side Italian gang waited across the street from 2122 North Clark Street in the Lincoln Park area of Chicago.  They were waiting for Capone’s rival gang boss, George “Bugs” Moran, who led the North Side Irish gang, to arrive at that address.  Moran had been lured there supposedly with the promise of cut-rate whiskey from Detroit’s Purple Gang, friends of Al Capone.  Capone wanted revenge for prior killings by Moran’s gang and only wanted Moran targeted in this hit, not the entire North Side gang.  Moran’s men had arrived at the garage early that morning but Moran and one of his assistants was running late.  When Moran arrived behind the garage, he saw a police car arrive and decided to wait elsewhere.

What Moran didn’t know was that the police car was there as part of Capone’s plan for his associates to escape.  Capone had hired hitmen from outside the Chicago area so that Moran wouldn’t be able to recognize them.  Two of the men wore police uniforms and entered the garage as if conducting a raid.  The five members of Moran’s gang and two associates were lined-up against the brick wall as if they were to be searched.  As the men were facing the rear wall of the garage, two more of Capone’s men entered and the four hitmen, using two Thompson submachine guns and two shotguns, murdered the men inside and then escaped by having the “police officers” escort the other two men to the waiting police cars.  Witnesses told the police that they saw policemen leaving the area with two men “in custody.”

It wasn’t until Highball, a German Shepherd owned by one of the victims, began barking and howling that anyone came to look inside the garage.  Highball and Frank Gusenberg, who despite being shot fourteen times refused to say anything about the killers before dying three hours later, were the only two survivors.  Photos of the gruesome aftermath were posted in newspapers around the country.

The infamous wall from 2122 North Clark Street (minus a few dozen bricks sold over the years by its previous owner) is now on display at the Las Vegas Mob Museum, so I guess if you want something non-traditional for your Valentine, you can take them there.

Me?  Maybe I’ll take the Thompson into the garage and fire a few blank rounds towards the brick walls in commemoration.  It’s less fattening than chocolate; it won’t die like cut flowers; and it’s a tradition I can do every February 14th.